The author does a wonderful job of painting an intriguing concept. The story has a nice read to it – the reader and the main character discover the story together.
I just want to say what a beautiful story Jeff and what a beautiful site. I have the Mars skin and it is just wonderful. What can I say. I am looking forward to seeing some more of this site. The artwork in particular is divine, combined with the stories. The site is also extremely easy to navigate. I could rave – but I won’t.
I’d like to be the first to comment on this story, as I intend to on many others here too in time; it’s not nice to receive no feedback on what you’ve written.
Although I enjoyed the characterisation of this story, I found it necessitated some suspension of disbelief when it came to the descriptions, or lack thereof, of the technology used. I suppose this isn’t the end of the world, as the characters were interesting. Still, I found the way Sam and Jake found the real culprits a little confused; I wasn’t quite certain how they had done it. Still, I felt the action description made up for it, and just went along with the story. Was I suposed to have some background knowledge on Sally’s crime? I reckon some more detective work wouldn’t go amiss before they work everything out.
All in all, though, I thouroughly enjoyed reading your work.
This gave me a chuckle, reminded me a little of the Douglas Adams concept of words going back in time and insulting an alien race. Is he an influence? If this is the kind of stuff you produce, I’d like to read more! Very witty. Short and effective.
Nice little twist. Unfortunately falling back on the old ‘it’s possible to breed with any member of any species from anywhere else in the universe’ trekkie theory, but the ending makes up for it. I liked the style. A funny piece!
That was quite amusing, although the ending seemed a little dark in contrast with the generally light-hearted tone of the rest of the story. I loved the depth of the style, the descriptions of expression gave an interesting angle to the narrative, as did the constant references to violence made in a laid back, understated tone. Gave the piece a very humorous and ironic edge.
Good story, reminiscent of something Asimov or Clark may have written; I loved the seamless blend of characterisation, a really human plight, with the scientific and technological knowledge and detail. Great use of physics to give the story an excellent sense of realism.
Interesting, although I don’t feel we got to know the character very well. Curious concept, makes me want to know a bit more, but the Aalahi you describe seem a bit fantastical, not much explanation based in science. I enjoyed the style, though. Nice piece.
I liked it; the style was slick and the characters good. Interesting concept, quite plausible too; backed up with good science, this was effective hard sci-fi. However, some of the dialogue seemed a little rushed at points. Helped the flow of the story, though.
Fascinating story; style reminds me of Clark. I agree with Mr. Stone that the reader and character discover the story together, and found this very effective. It was well developed, and the ending, although open for continuation, was satisfying. I liked the concepts of two personalities being merged, and character’s struggle to reconcile one with the other.
I think it merits a sequel!
First of all, I was very impressed by the artwork for this story. The fantasy theme is interesting, and the characters are quite deep for the length of the story. Have you written other stories featuring the character of Thomas?
Yep, the first story, “A Very Clean Fellow,” appeared right here in the June 2003 issue. I allude to that story’s plot in “A Threadbare Tailor.” I’m glad you like these characters. And you’re right, the picture is pretty cool. I do have plans for several other stories involving Thomas and the gang at the Drunken Wolf.
Really enjoyed the quirkiness of this story, don’t think I’ve really read anything to compare it to; interesting descriptions of an alien race, left partly to the imagination, which I found most effective. I also liked the light hearted humorous style, made for very easy and pleasant reading.
I think I might be looking up some more of your work.
I thought it was fairly good story. I had to question the length of time between the attempted suicide, being rousted from near death by the Aalahi, the trransfusion procedure, and his next entry in the journal. That all happened in 30 minutes? Such efficiency!
Thank you for your comments Michael, they will help to improve my next piece. It is always helpful to have comments that will improve my work. “Nice story, keep it up.” is nice to hear, but not very helpful. Thank you
Great story. Good twist. A real fusion of Calivinistic pre-destination belief systems and science-fantasy. Good use of journal style which kept a realism in a a good hybrid of genres. Raised an interesting debate bewteen what happens when hope is lost and how we all look for hope when in despair! Good work! Dan O’Shea
Great stuff. A simple story based in reality through the style, but yet still mixing genres from sci-fi to fantasy. Some subtextual issues linked to Calvinsim and pre-destination and how we humans only find hope after despair!
Hi David,really enjoyed your short story.A tale of the unexpected,nice little twist at the end.look forward to reading more of your work.Would also love to see more of Judith’s art work.Does she have website?
Just like to say thanks to everyone who read the story and left their comments. It’s great to get feedback, and the constructive criticisms are always helpful. Also, a big thanks to Romeo for the fab artwork.
Cheers, m’dears!
I loved this. And I knew it was coming, you’d think the plant-people would have realized it too. I’m surprised they were able to send the carnivores packing in the first place. It should have been as easy as fighting a field of cabbage.
[...] Author: Derek Smith Dear Editor: Your readers may remember my story “Searching for the Ferryman”, published in Planet last year. “Ferryman”, [...]
This is a powerful and vividly descriptive story. It is hard not to empathise with the main character who is selfishly handled by humans and aliens alike. Although there is major comment on humanity it is first a good story to read.
I was turned onto this story by a client, and I found it fascinating. It’s a great question…what happens to all the stuff we store away? It was short and to the point, it moved well, and it held my interest. An excellent read! Kudos to Ms. Danielle!
This is a very entertaining story. I like how it is a near future possibilty with some poor guy doing his job and getting caught up in a mess not of his own making. I hope to see more of Mr. Hellards work in the future.
Pretty good short story. Your writing is really impressive. Me I like to curl up with a murder/mystery, you know a who done it. John Grisham is one of my favorite authors. What ever happened to the story about Fishville? Thought it had a lot of potential. Keep up the good work, can’t wait to read the next one.
Hi there old pal,
I finally got around to reading your shortstory. You are a master of words!! I want you to think more about writing a full length novel. I know you are busy but a novel would allow you to really showcase your abilities. Keep at it!!
Rob
Hi, come take a look at my sci-fi story and consider as my submission for your mag. I do artwork as well, which you may view on my homepage, or at Flickr.com/photos/spaceart/
September 15, 2004 at 11:11 am
Nice story Jeff. It held my interest from beginning to end.
Cheers,
Rob
September 15, 2004 at 4:21 pm
Hey buddy. Don’t I know you? Good job Jeff. Thought I would comment here just for fun. See you back @ EotW. Congrats man.
September 15, 2004 at 4:51 pm
The author does a wonderful job of painting an intriguing concept. The story has a nice read to it – the reader and the main character discover the story together.
September 16, 2004 at 7:23 am
I just want to say what a beautiful story Jeff and what a beautiful site. I have the Mars skin and it is just wonderful. What can I say. I am looking forward to seeing some more of this site. The artwork in particular is divine, combined with the stories. The site is also extremely easy to navigate. I could rave – but I won’t.
September 16, 2004 at 11:18 am
Very intriguing! Keep up the great work.
September 16, 2004 at 11:25 pm
Everyone needs to see this! I just watched Bounty Hunter and Dude Where’s My Light Saber and it’s fantastic!! I luvved it!
September 20, 2004 at 10:27 am
What a lovely poem! Also loved the painting!
September 20, 2004 at 4:15 pm
Nice work. I enjoyed the story!
September 21, 2004 at 5:47 am
A really great story with an interesting twist. I thought it was fab!!!
Nat xxx
September 21, 2004 at 2:56 pm
I’d like to be the first to comment on this story, as I intend to on many others here too in time; it’s not nice to receive no feedback on what you’ve written.
Although I enjoyed the characterisation of this story, I found it necessitated some suspension of disbelief when it came to the descriptions, or lack thereof, of the technology used. I suppose this isn’t the end of the world, as the characters were interesting. Still, I found the way Sam and Jake found the real culprits a little confused; I wasn’t quite certain how they had done it. Still, I felt the action description made up for it, and just went along with the story. Was I suposed to have some background knowledge on Sally’s crime? I reckon some more detective work wouldn’t go amiss before they work everything out.
All in all, though, I thouroughly enjoyed reading your work.
September 21, 2004 at 7:12 pm
You make me want to read more… of your work!
September 22, 2004 at 9:58 am
This gave me a chuckle, reminded me a little of the Douglas Adams concept of words going back in time and insulting an alien race. Is he an influence? If this is the kind of stuff you produce, I’d like to read more! Very witty. Short and effective.
September 22, 2004 at 1:21 pm
Nice little twist. Unfortunately falling back on the old ‘it’s possible to breed with any member of any species from anywhere else in the universe’ trekkie theory, but the ending makes up for it. I liked the style. A funny piece!
September 22, 2004 at 1:35 pm
That was quite amusing, although the ending seemed a little dark in contrast with the generally light-hearted tone of the rest of the story. I loved the depth of the style, the descriptions of expression gave an interesting angle to the narrative, as did the constant references to violence made in a laid back, understated tone. Gave the piece a very humorous and ironic edge.
September 22, 2004 at 5:00 pm
Good story, reminiscent of something Asimov or Clark may have written; I loved the seamless blend of characterisation, a really human plight, with the scientific and technological knowledge and detail. Great use of physics to give the story an excellent sense of realism.
overall a very satisfying story.
September 23, 2004 at 10:52 am
Interesting, although I don’t feel we got to know the character very well. Curious concept, makes me want to know a bit more, but the Aalahi you describe seem a bit fantastical, not much explanation based in science. I enjoyed the style, though. Nice piece.
September 23, 2004 at 11:08 am
I liked it; the style was slick and the characters good. Interesting concept, quite plausible too; backed up with good science, this was effective hard sci-fi. However, some of the dialogue seemed a little rushed at points. Helped the flow of the story, though.
September 24, 2004 at 7:30 am
Interesting story. good character development and good dialogue.
September 24, 2004 at 7:36 am
Short but sweet. Always good to see humor in a sci-fi story!
September 24, 2004 at 7:40 am
i usually don’t like haiku so I was suprised I enjoyed reading this poem very much. very good images.
September 24, 2004 at 7:42 am
I enjoyed reading this story. good attention to details.
September 26, 2004 at 12:52 pm
Fascinating story; style reminds me of Clark. I agree with Mr. Stone that the reader and character discover the story together, and found this very effective. It was well developed, and the ending, although open for continuation, was satisfying. I liked the concepts of two personalities being merged, and character’s struggle to reconcile one with the other.
I think it merits a sequel!
September 26, 2004 at 1:13 pm
First of all, I was very impressed by the artwork for this story. The fantasy theme is interesting, and the characters are quite deep for the length of the story. Have you written other stories featuring the character of Thomas?
I quite enjoyed this. Nice story.
September 26, 2004 at 1:52 pm
Yep, the first story, “A Very Clean Fellow,” appeared right here in the June 2003 issue. I allude to that story’s plot in “A Threadbare Tailor.” I’m glad you like these characters. And you’re right, the picture is pretty cool.
I do have plans for several other stories involving Thomas and the gang at the Drunken Wolf.
Thank you for the kind words.
September 27, 2004 at 9:08 am
Enjoyed the story and the artwork. Nice work!
September 27, 2004 at 1:57 pm
Really enjoyed the quirkiness of this story, don’t think I’ve really read anything to compare it to; interesting descriptions of an alien race, left partly to the imagination, which I found most effective. I also liked the light hearted humorous style, made for very easy and pleasant reading.
I think I might be looking up some more of your work.
September 28, 2004 at 12:07 pm
I never comment on the stories I read on webpages. I sit at work and read stuff, but never say anything.
But this was good. Can you point us to other stories you have written?
September 30, 2004 at 5:49 pm
I thought it was fairly good story. I had to question the length of time between the attempted suicide, being rousted from near death by the Aalahi, the trransfusion procedure, and his next entry in the journal. That all happened in 30 minutes? Such efficiency!
October 3, 2004 at 12:41 am
I know when your back is turned they can just get up and crawl away. I have no proof though.
October 6, 2004 at 6:28 am
Thank you for your comments Michael, they will help to improve my next piece. It is always helpful to have comments that will improve my work. “Nice story, keep it up.” is nice to hear, but not very helpful. Thank you
October 7, 2004 at 11:03 am
Great story. Good twist. A real fusion of Calivinistic pre-destination belief systems and science-fantasy. Good use of journal style which kept a realism in a a good hybrid of genres. Raised an interesting debate bewteen what happens when hope is lost and how we all look for hope when in despair! Good work! Dan O’Shea
October 7, 2004 at 11:16 am
Great stuff. A simple story based in reality through the style, but yet still mixing genres from sci-fi to fantasy. Some subtextual issues linked to Calvinsim and pre-destination and how we humans only find hope after despair!
October 7, 2004 at 9:01 pm
Ed’s story illustrates well the difference between perception and reality — Seek first to understand, then to be understood. Ep, Ep, Ep
October 14, 2004 at 9:31 am
I liked the haiku and imagery.
October 15, 2004 at 7:10 pm
I enjoyed the story and wrote a short review for it on the Internet Database of Fiction. If you’d like to read the review you can find it here.
October 17, 2004 at 11:17 am
I like the double-twist ending. Creepy & mysterious.
October 19, 2004 at 8:32 am
A very fun read!
October 24, 2004 at 9:24 pm
Thanks! It was a fun story to write. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
–G
October 28, 2004 at 1:41 pm
October 29, 2004 at 1:28 pm
What a lovely story. Thanks so much! I’m off to find more of your work…
October 29, 2004 at 3:22 pm
This was a delight.
November 1, 2004 at 9:49 pm
kinda neat
a friend, amdy recommended site
i write poems
and may tyr my hand at some sci-fi humor
frankie
November 1, 2004 at 9:55 pm
interesting, original
got to check out this site more often
frankie
November 9, 2004 at 9:32 am
A refreshing (and creepily suspenseful) science fantasy tale – thanks, Mr. Murphy!
November 15, 2004 at 10:31 am
Hi David,really enjoyed your short story.A tale of the unexpected,nice little twist at the end.look forward to reading more of your work.Would also love to see more of Judith’s art work.Does she have website?
November 15, 2004 at 3:44 pm
Judith’s website is:
http://www.primenightmare.com/
November 19, 2004 at 5:51 pm
I downloaded one of the sample clips. I dare say the work I saw is beautiful.
November 19, 2004 at 8:47 pm
Good work James.
November 25, 2004 at 1:37 pm
Just like to say thanks to everyone who read the story and left their comments. It’s great to get feedback, and the constructive criticisms are always helpful. Also, a big thanks to Romeo for the fab artwork.
Cheers, m’dears!
December 2, 2004 at 4:10 pm
Congratulations, KC. Good story. Always liked strong women characters.
December 16, 2004 at 4:40 pm
I loved this. And I knew it was coming, you’d think the plant-people would have realized it too. I’m surprised they were able to send the carnivores packing in the first place. It should have been as easy as fighting a field of cabbage.
December 28, 2004 at 1:12 pm
I loved it!
February 16, 2005 at 12:05 pm
A very creative and well written poem and I love the art work too
February 16, 2005 at 12:09 pm
A very interesting poem, very cleverly constructed
February 18, 2005 at 5:54 am
[...] Author: Derek Smith Dear Editor: Your readers may remember my story “Searching for the Ferryman”, published in Planet last year. “Ferryman”, [...]
February 18, 2005 at 8:12 pm
This is a powerful and vividly descriptive story. It is hard not to empathise with the main character who is selfishly handled by humans and aliens alike. Although there is major comment on humanity it is first a good story to read.
March 10, 2005 at 9:23 pm
I was turned onto this story by a client, and I found it fascinating. It’s a great question…what happens to all the stuff we store away? It was short and to the point, it moved well, and it held my interest. An excellent read! Kudos to Ms. Danielle!
August 4, 2005 at 12:04 pm
A very nice read. Good description and great twist at the end.
August 22, 2005 at 9:30 pm
A well thought out and effective story – it left me with a feeling of melancholy.
August 22, 2005 at 9:51 pm
That was “jaws”ful – ha ha! A fun read!
August 23, 2005 at 3:28 pm
A very pleasant tale – I enjoyed how it leisurely unraveled. I guess Bart has Ray to keep him company now. I wonder what the daughter did…
October 3, 2005 at 2:00 pm
ain’t that the truth
October 3, 2005 at 3:34 pm
I absolutely loved it. 1-10 ten being the highest, I would rate it a ten.
A great suspenful tale. Loved the plot, and just about everything else.
March 13, 2006 at 5:46 am
This story has now been accepted by the Greek Magazine ‘Universe Pathways’. It is due to appear in print in October.
May 22, 2006 at 2:24 pm
Wow – absolutely glued to screen – well done
August 2, 2006 at 11:57 pm
This is a very entertaining story. I like how it is a near future possibilty with some poor guy doing his job and getting caught up in a mess not of his own making. I hope to see more of Mr. Hellards work in the future.
August 13, 2006 at 5:33 pm
awesome story, please write a sequel to it.
November 2, 2006 at 11:59 pm
[...] 060228 – “Vortex Mirage“ is published in Planet Magazine. Posted by matthewlowes Filed in Uncategorized [...]
March 10, 2007 at 10:22 pm
[...] Read the previous Langford Joh story: http://planetmag.com/blog/index.php?p=29 [...]
April 8, 2007 at 11:30 am
Hey Wen,
Pretty good short story. Your writing is really impressive. Me I like to curl up with a murder/mystery, you know a who done it. John Grisham is one of my favorite authors. What ever happened to the story about Fishville? Thought it had a lot of potential. Keep up the good work, can’t wait to read the next one.
Aunt Crystal and Uncle Chester
April 15, 2007 at 9:25 am
Hi there old pal,
I finally got around to reading your shortstory. You are a master of words!! I want you to think more about writing a full length novel. I know you are busy but a novel would allow you to really showcase your abilities. Keep at it!!
Rob
April 16, 2007 at 1:17 am
Hi Professor Henagan
I finally logged in! I had the difficulty in logging in.
I enjoyed reading your short story. You proved you have much talent in writing. I hope you will be a famous writer in your future. Good luck!
Eun
May 7, 2007 at 7:02 pm
I really like this poem.
May 7, 2007 at 7:20 pm
Cool!
May 30, 2007 at 9:13 pm
[...] published in the 2nd English Edition of Universe Pathways Magazine, and was first published in Planet Magazine, where it can still be read [...]
August 20, 2007 at 10:30 am
really good
i get a kick out of sci-fi poetry
easpecially liked
“take me to your leader”
best
fraankie
June 23, 2008 at 9:43 pm
Hi, come take a look at my sci-fi story and consider as my submission for your mag. I do artwork as well, which you may view on my homepage, or at Flickr.com/photos/spaceart/
Godspeed!
July 16, 2008 at 8:16 am
very long information…….
http://www.yellaribbon.com/
July 30, 2008 at 5:49 am
I just started writing science fiction, here is my first short story:
http://scifiwriter.wordpress.com/2008/07/29/a-choice/
Please let me know what you think.
June 12, 2009 at 9:00 am
[...] Fiction: Read “Three Gold Pieces” by Brock L. Noel at Planet [...]
June 15, 2009 at 10:06 am
I really liked this story–great concept and delivery.